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Recent Posts
- How to sneak sneakily
- “Good as sh*t/hell” is not ironic
- Sweet Sweat – English is dumb
- How I’m tryna not decay as fast as you are
- I can’t swirl drinks for shit
- Live AI Beard Filter Bruh
- It is OUTRAGEOUS that “intrical” is not a word
- Spam hurts my feelings
- If you’re tired in the morning – have you tried just, like, not doing that?
- Why most Nightmare Before Christmas merch sucks
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Being funny will take you places
Posted on February 24, 2014 | No CommentsWhen you laugh your body creates dopamine and you feel good. Girls feeling good in your presence is a good way to make them want to be in it more […] -
I didn’t want to be your stupid Facebook friend anyway
Posted on February 22, 2014 | No CommentsWhen I meet someone in real life and then I see them online interacting on a mutual friends Facebook after me on a thread or in a way that otherwise […] -
Leggings are only “not pants” if you’re fat…
Posted on February 19, 2014 | 1 CommentY’all can try to shame girls wearing leggings as pants all you want, but the truth is that if they’re not overweight, they are the best possible pants a human […] -
Everything in California Sucks Except the Geography
Posted on February 11, 2014 | No CommentsCalifornia’s cities may be dirty, but the landscape is so purdy that it makes the crappy urban life seem fine. Success stays beyond your reaches, but have you seen our […] -
The BitchTrust Connundrum
Posted on February 7, 2014 | No CommentsWhen bitches say “trust no bitch”, are they including themselves? If so, then am I to assume they are lying about the trustworthiness of other bitches or just that its […] -
Genius Problemz: Brain Overloadz
Posted on February 6, 2014 | No CommentsYou don’t know the gift of the truth that is contained in the old phrase “ignorance is bliss” until you have a super brain that lives outside of those parameters. […] -
Don’t waste your time believing in anyone, ever
Posted on February 6, 2014 | No CommentsIf there’s one thing I’ve learned about how to deal with humans (other than their flesh is better pan-fried than baked), it’s that they can’t be trusted or relied on […] -
Chapped
Posted on February 3, 2014 | No CommentsI’m falling asleep & my lips are dry but my house is too huge for me to travel the distance to where my chap stick is . Do me a favor […] -
Getting stood up is a downer, no matter what
Posted on January 31, 2014 | No CommentsBusy day, puttin out fires, stomping one problem after the next, exercising like a madman to keep the juices flowing, kept at high energy and high output all ding-dang-dong day, […] -
I have not grown apart from you and I probably never will
Posted on January 29, 2014 | No CommentsJust a reminder to all of you drifting away from me that it’s not reciprocated. I haven’t drifted from a single person in my entire life. I wish I knew […]