I don’t know what broke me, but every time I get a junk spam text or an obvious bot message on Instagram, there’s a solid second where my brain immediately goes, oh yay – someone wants to be my friend!
One second might not sound like a long time, but for something like this? It’s an eternity. That’s a full one Mississippiwhere I’ve already clicked over to an alternate reality where I’ve made a new social connection and I’m genuinely excited about it. Before my brain even bothers to process the details, I’ve already felt the joy of it. Already accepted it as truth. Already felt my circle expand.
And then – click – back to reality.
Oh. It’s another generic spam bot with a nonsense username and a profile pic stolen from a stock photo site. Maybe it’s an “investment opportunity” in broken English. Maybe it’s a “sugar daddy looking for a loyal baby.” Maybe it’s an Amazon gift card scam. But whatever it is, the moment I see it, I feel so deeply stupid for falling for it again.
It’s not like I actually believe spam bots are real people. My brain knows better even in that one second delusion. But that one second emo journey still happens every single time. The exact same emotional arc. The same cycle of instant excitement, immediate realization, and then deep, personal shame for being the kind of person who, apparently, is so starved for random connection that even a Nigerian prince or a fake Camgirl AI can briefly convince me I have a friend.
lol. What a loser.
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