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Recent Posts
- How to sneak sneakily
- “Good as sh*t/hell” is not ironic
- Sweet Sweat – English is dumb
- How I’m tryna not decay as fast as you are
- I can’t swirl drinks for shit
- Live AI Beard Filter Bruh
- It is OUTRAGEOUS that “intrical” is not a word
- Spam hurts my feelings
- If you’re tired in the morning – have you tried just, like, not doing that?
- Why most Nightmare Before Christmas merch sucks
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Shorty wrinkle fighters
Posted on February 19, 2013 | No CommentsGollum, Dobby & Yoda are in a cage match with no weapons and Yoda’s lost all ability to use the force. Who wins?… #thingsIthinkaboutinthebath@midnight -
Calendar Crosses
Posted on February 14, 2013 | No CommentsThe question: Why do people cross off their calendars like that? Is your life such a shit life that you can’t wait to cross it off as being over and […] -
Patting is a universal recognition of “come to this spot”
Posted on February 13, 2013 | 1 CommentWhen you want someone to sit next to you, you would be a little childish and weird for patting the spot you’re inviting them to but everyone would know exactly […] -
Butter Beauty
Posted on February 9, 2013 | No CommentsDreaming about lounging on a giant fresh baked bread-bed floating in a pond of melted butter as lobstertail shrimp swim by and I munch myself to sleep over the sound […] -
3 Steps on How to be Happy …
Posted on February 4, 2013 | No CommentsI’ve always been interested in how the brain works, as well as behavioral algorithms that explain human and animal behavior and recently gave these root steps to a friend to […] -
Toothpicking
Posted on January 29, 2013 | No CommentsConfesh: I never have stuff in my teeth when walking out of restaurants. So why do I grab a toothpick on the way out every time? Because I like to […] -
Face Cuts
Posted on January 28, 2013 | No CommentsUsually the alerts I get when someone deletes me on facebook is cause for a laugh because its some dope that should have never been there in the first place […] -
No one cares… Stop talking so much…
Posted on January 25, 2013 | No CommentsSome people need to learn how to fall out of love with their own voice and just get to the point. I feel like i’m on the phone with the […] -
I think someone undressed me in my sleep…
Posted on January 25, 2013 | 1 CommentI went to bed with a shirt on. woke up with it around my shoulder and draped back over the rest of me like a beauty pageant sash… who the […] -
My first late night visitor…
Posted on January 21, 2013 | No CommentsFirst night in my new Hollywood house i’ve been moving into this month and theres a knock at my door at 1:30AM… So of course I open it, under the […]