I just realized something in a half-awake, brain-melting haze while lying in bed, too tired to sleep but too awake to pass out. That weird, delirious state where thoughts stop making sense until suddenly, they make too much sense. And what hit me was this:
Every hundredth time someone says “cold as hell” or “good as shit”, some genius jumps in with “actually, that’s an oxymoron.” But they’re wrong. Completely wrong. Because the phrase isn’t talking about hell or shit as things – it’s talking about the exclamations.
Hell and shit are classic swears, not just for their literal meanings but for how they get used in out-loud calls of exasperation. So when someone says “it’s cold as hell,” they aren’t saying “this is as cold as a place that is supposed to be the hottest in the universe.” They’re really saying “this is as cold as ‘Hell!’” (quote-unquote). Basically, “it’s as cold as OMG.”
Same thing with “good as shit.” It’s not someone saying “this food is as good as literal feces.” It means “this is as good as WOW” or “this tastes as good as DAMN.” The idea is that something is so good, it makes you swear.
Which is smart as hell.
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